These thought provoking questions draw on proven ways to resolve conflict and create more fulfilling relationships where everyone wins. This Resolve the Conflict Guide is endorsed by many psychologists, counsellors, doctors, business managers, and teachers.
Who: Use it with: your partner, your children, your parents, your work colleagues, your friends, your business negotiations
When: When it’s time to take action on your own problem or to support someone else who’s struggling with how to move a conflict forward.
Why: Running the conflict through this guide may well help you take a significant step towards managing better or resolving your immediate problem.
How: Take some time to consider each of these questions. Writing down some answers often helps. Work through this Guide alone or together.
Be willing to fix the problem.
Broaden your outlook.
Write them down.
Negotiate.
Think up as many solutions as you can. Pick the one that gives everyone more of what they want.
Treat each other as equals.
Am I too emotional?
Could I: a. get more facts, b. take time out to calm down,
c. tell them how I feel?
Be clear. Attack the problem, not the person.
Work on the positives, not the negatives.
Do they know I understand them?
Could this help us to understand each other and create our own solutions?
Work towards solutions where everyone’s needs are respected.
As well as the Guide above, there is an A4 poster available on this website, which is also extremely useful when faced with a conflict. You can download this poster by clicking this link:
Help build your own conflict resolving community. You could print this poster out for a noticeboard or a waiting area or work through it with a colleague or family member. It’s a great tool to open discussions with a client in a coaching session.