Posters and Handouts

Checklist and overview of the skills

Unresolved conflict is hugely stressful!  Work through its questions with a problem in mind and it’s bound to make a difference. The process may inspire you to study the skills in more depth or remind you of a valuable tool that might have slipped off your list of useful strategies.

This Guide is a great way to introduce conflict resolution skills to others. They’re all there in a nutshell. Perhaps you might print out a few copies for your top drawer or waiting area at work. Get one up on a noticeboard or the fridge door.

Our thanks to Tine Dührr, digital content manager at Finduddannelse.dk for permission to use this poster and this extract from her article, ‘Conflict at your workplace’.

Have you ever wondered how a conflict between you and someone you know started? Maybe you can’t even remember. Conflicts starts from the littlest things, but in the workplace, there are often a few trigger-points. Often we see that conflicts at work start because of hardcore deadlines and a heavy workload. Being under pressure, and not having the resources to work faster can be a stress factor that makes tasks more complicated.

And everyone knows what happens when we feel stress. We might snap faster than usual. Or we are overwhelmed by something or someone. Having stressed employees can evolve into conflicts much faster than usual.

How can you spot a conflict as it begins to arise in the team? First of all, you should be looking at the behavior: perhaps one of your co-workers starts acting differently; or doesn’t want to cooperate with others; or appears more introverted than usual. If you’ve observed this, you should consider if there is conflict building up.

You can also look at the social gatherings. Is anyone trying to build alliances, talking behind other co-workers backs? Also notice the energy level of people. Are they tired? Without energy? Have less motivation? Or more frequently absent from work? All are indicators you should be aware of.

Unemployment: everyone’s business

Let’s apply the skill of Creative Response to a real life issue. Widespread unemployment is a  global tragedy. If we act wisely, compassionately, preventatively and immediately this need not be.

Employment for all who want it is not just an economic imperative, it is a human rights issue.  Article 23 of the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights reminds us:

“Everyone has the right to work, to free choice of employment, to just and favourable conditions of work and to protection against unemployment.”

Government action should be immediate, because every incidence of unemployment creates more unemployment. This may mean deficit budgeting. Adjusting government expenditure to the circumstances is a proven and effective tool. Deficit and break-even budgets say our government is serious about employing people directly and about funding private enterprise programs that provide jobs.

Whenever unemployment levels rise, this is the time for a creative response. It’s time to build infrastructure in our community. Programs to counter climate change, and to provide sustainable energy, food and water supplies should rise to the top of our planning agenda.

Government at all levels needs to lead the way in creating jobs, but private enterprise, trade unions, the welfare sectors and individuals can all be involved.

This is the perfect opportunity for community spending on a just and caring society and a sustainable future.

Do you have an idea or know of a worthy and productive project? Spread the word. Turn crisis to opportunity.

To resolve conflict, keep communication flowing if at all possible. There’s lots of good tips in the book, Everyone Can Win.

A very useful one says: “Examine your own communication style when you notice you have been cut off or blocked out.” (p. 45)

You might enjoy this Conflict Resolution Thought for the Month poster. We invite you to download and/or print the .pdf file for your notice board and to share it with others. Any comments or ideas you have are welcome.

Change your language – change your mindset. Swap your ‘but’s‘ for ‘ands‘ and notice the difference it makes. This simple shift opens the door to new possibilities.

Noticeboards are a great place to display a poster with a a useful skill. Or perhaps you could add one to an email or pop one up on your fridge door. Share the skills with others. You never know. You could be making the world of difference!

Are you sometimes dealing with a ‘difficult’ person who doesn’t seem to be on your wavelength at all? Challenge yourself! Show your appreciation of them whenever you can. Build some real connection – perhaps through a shared interest. Find what you can praise that they do well. Become a source for them
of positive emotions. Nourish their core needs for appreciation, connection and sense of purpose and you’ll build their co-operation.

Read more on this in our Conflict Resolution text, Everyone Can Win (p.136-7).

The skill of Willingness to resolve taps into the power of forgiveness. You might want to take a moment to consider if there is something you are holding against another person. Are you willing to forgive them for that?

You may still be too angry or upset to really wipe the slate clean, but perhaps you can take a first step – to notice that at least you are willing to become willing to forgive. You may decide to discuss the problem with that person or choose not to.

Either way, the moment you make any inroads into releasing yourself from anger or resentment, something will shift. You almost always find yourself happier and somehow lighter. While there’s no guarantee, it may even free the other person to change too. Our book, Everyone Can Win, suggests that “Forgiving is a shift in attitude that arises from yourself, an inner shift that comes from the heart.” (p.145)

What does it takes to build a culture of non-violence?

When people’s needs and concerns go unheard for long periods, they may believe that extremism and violence are their only options. Whether it’s early or late in any conflict, the step out of an impasse is to take into account the needs of all parties involved. The more complex, deep-rooted, lengthy or violent the conflict the more essential a mapping process is, if it is ever to move forward towards resolution or good conflict management.

Mapping is equally valuable for our everyday conflicts. It’s best when you do it directly alongside the other person or group. But it will take you forward even if you have to first do it alone.

No, it’s not simple, but the process does work! Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What do they want? What are they worried about? Ask the same questions of yourself or the group you represent.

A good map can turn opponents into problem-solving partners.

Why do so many negotiations go wrong or never even really get started? While power undoubtedly influences a negotiation, fear and anger often stop us exploring the real possibilities.

One good question can offer a doorway out of an impasse. Use questions to steer the negotiation. They can lead it forward and redirect it towards the positive. You can use them on yourself and on your negotiation partner.

Build a vision: 
• Where do we go from here?
• How would this look if it were all OK?

Address obstacles:
• What would it take to make it possible or easier?
• How can we put it right?
• What would our plan have to address to make it acceptable?

Make the contract clear:
• Is there anything else we need to address to make this work?

Build a culture of  nonviolence

War does not determine who’s right.

It can only determine who’s left.
In the end, whoever is left will have to negotiate!

Are you ready to drop the ‘same old’ solution?

Think innovatively – especially if it didn’t work that well before? New options offer new opportunities. You can see them as a resource, not a threat. If you’ve taken the time to map the conflict, your new options can reflect the needs and fears involved. So brainstorm together. Even a wacky idea might suggest an ingenious twist to more serious alternatives. Then you must compare options: what’s fairer, kinder, cheaper, safer or more convenient? You need such yardsticks to decide what’s best for everyone.  The method is the same, whatever the scale of conflict – a family excursion, a broken agreement or our national security.

You’ll certainly cost the alternatives when planning a family holiday. When there’s the possibility of a war or military intervention, it’s vital that our government fully costs it also. The public needs to be made aware of all our options including nonviolent alternatives.

Non-violence pledge

In essence, it’s about being non-violent in thought, word and deed at all levels of relating – personal, community, and between nations. It means treating all people with fairness, justice and fundamental respect. It’s a big ask and the most challenging journey.

It’s not about suppressing our needs or never allowing our anger to surface. Its about striving relentlessly to have everyone’s needs met and using our anger as our fire for positive change.

As we actively tread the path, let’s pay homage to the countless thousands who have travelled it before us. We are all aiming for a world where violence is an aberration and non-violence is the norm. That will include correcting structural violence and subtle abuse wherever we find it. We each can be a non-violent activist in our own life!

Conflict Resolution Network emphasises the teaching and implementation of conflict resolution skills, the basic skills of non-violence – whether in schools, workplaces or between nations.  We promote research and discussion and the shaping of public policy. Our website offers many comprehensive training materials which are easy-access, tried-and-tested and cost-free.